Intimacy Building by Guadalupe Haro, LMFT
Intimacy is a wonderful feeling but it is something that is almost often very fleeting. Just when we have it in our hands, something happens in the relationship and it slips away. Couples often come to couple's counseling with an array of issues from infidelity to seemingly smaller issues such as constant disagreements. However, there seems to be a common thread among these couples as I hear them speak, both are yearning for deeper intimacy that somehow was lost along the way or was never truly built.
Intimacy can be emotional but also sexual, and both are equally important. In couple's counseling, we as therapists hope we can focus on assisting couples in creating true intimacy. What is it, one might ask ? Perhaps it is a laugh together, one partner holding on to the other during a difficult time or a sexually intense moment. The key, is what therapists call mindfulness. It is staying in that present moment with our partners and relishing that moment- the laugh, the comfort, or perhaps the warmth of each other's body. Then, it is my belief, that intimacy is felt.
It is then maintained by intentionally creating and recreating those moments in a mindful manner. Everyday.